Most people with anxiety do not realize that anxiety changes the way their minds process information and the way they experience reality.
Study after study has shown that people with mild or acute anxiety tend to look at what is negative and threatening more quickly and for longer than people who are not perceiving a situation through an anxious lens. These biases often reinforce negative thought patterns and distorted reality, and can lead to misguided actions.
This has serious consequences when you are trying to attract back your ex, especially if you are not consciously aware that you are perceiving things differently.
While it is normal to from time-to-time experience anxiety when trying to attract back your ex, attachment anxiety makes it more difficult to distinguishing between an ex’s words and actions that do not necessarily pose threat to your chances of getting back together, and emotionally-charged reactions and responses that threaten your chances.
As a neutral observer, I do not wear an anxiety lens.
This frees me from attaching meaning to everything your ex says or does. I am not only able to point out the limited ways in which you are attaching distorted meaning to what is happening, I also bring your attention to the present moment and the most immediate actions that increase your chances of attracting back your ex.
More importantly, as a neutral and independent observer, I am not on any “side”. The only side I am on is on the side of love and your relationship.
I keep you grounded so you are not focusing on all the negative things (about your ex or what’s happening) and as a result not paying attention to the positive things your ex says or does.
I also make sure that you are not “seeing more progress” than there is and are being realistic about your chances even while keeping your eyes on the end goal of attracting back your ex.