Anxious preoccupied men and women crave attention and affection, and in relationships they give it their everything. Unfortunately, they give way too much at their own expense. They also sometimes expect way too much from their partners.
For example, they:
- Send more texts than most because they’d want their ex to send them many texts too.
- Spend more energy and time making sure their ex knows how much they love them. They hope their ex does the same.
- Tell their ex they love them and are not “giving up on them”. This is the kind of reassurance they need from their ex.
To them, they’re showing that they care, are being supportive or trying to connect, and they are. They just do it in ways that go beyond what their ex is comfortable with, wants or is ready for.
They can’t understand how someone can be ‘too busy” to respond to a text. Why they wouldn’t feel like “talking” to someone they love. As far as an anxious preoccupied is concerned, if you care about someone you should respond to their text immediately. If you love someone, you should want to talk to them all the time.
When the relationship ends, they have a hard time accepting that the other person doesn’t want the relationship anymore. To them if you love someone, you do not leave them. This where most of the needy and sometimes stalking behaviour comes from. They think it is proof they love their ex but what it is protest behaviour.
Protest behaviour is any aggressive or passive aggressive action that tries to get an ex’s attention/response/reaction with the intention of getting them to understand your pain, reestablish connection or get back together.
When you engage in protest behaviours it can cause an avoidant to deactivate deeper and longer, and even lose feelings for you.